Januaryâ€™s #Reverb16 prompt: Changes | A lot of people use January as a jumping off point to implement changes in their lives. How do you implement change? Slowly? Cold turkey? Incrementally with a plan?
Quietly. Thatâ€™s how I like to make changes.
I donâ€™t like to announce, â€œTHIS is what I am going to do!â€ Why not? Because of that little kid voice I mentioned earlier that says, â€œBut what if it fails?â€ If I donâ€™t announce it, the only one who knows Iâ€™ve failed is me. Except there are some things I canâ€™t really keep quiet about and at least two have happened over the past year or so.
Iâ€™m in school, studying English this time (I have a Bachelorâ€™s in Music Therapy). What will I do with it? I. Donâ€™t. Know. And you know what? I believe thatâ€™s okay. At least for now. It’s a benefit my employer provides and I’m finally able to take advantage of it. As of this writing, I have two literature classes left and then Iâ€™ll wait (im)patiently for writing classes to fit with my work schedule. Donâ€™t misunderstand â€“ my employer works with me, but there are certain times that are just not negotiable. Iâ€™ve mentioned before that I work for a large teaching hospital, specifically, the Internal Medicine Residency Program. From early November to late January, we interview medical students for the upcoming Intern year. Our interviews are Tuesdays and Fridays and theyâ€™re â€œall hands on deckâ€ days in which the earliest I’m done is 11:00. The problems:
Iâ€™m losing weight. This is a good thing. Iâ€™ve been pretty quiet about it, but weight loss eventually becomes noticeable whether you like it or not. Over the past year, I lost just over 60 pounds. I have at least that much more to go. At the moment, I feel like Iâ€™m struggling. I find myself giving in to temptation more often. I need to stop that. Once in a while is okay. Every day is not. Multiple times a week, at least at this stage in the game, is not. Multiple times a day is definitely not. I think Iâ€™m hitting multiple times a week right now and feel like Iâ€™m inching toward every day. I donâ€™t know for sure and so Iâ€™m bringing back… the food journal. I hate the food journal. Iâ€™d say I donâ€™t know why, but yes I do. It keeps me accountable. The selfish kid in me is kicking and screaming, â€œI don’t wanna!!!â€ The reluctant adult in me is responding, â€œI donâ€™t wanna either, but I need it so Iâ€™m gonna do it.â€ (my mantra at times: I donâ€™t wanna but I gotta so Iâ€™m gonna!)
There are a few other changes coming that Iâ€™m keeping quiet on because, after all, what if I fail?