Faith and Hope

This past Tuesday was my first day by myself in about two weeks. I had multiple come-aparts (between laundry and organizing!) and it was good. Some time before Christmas, my daughter’s dance teacher told me that he was trying to get me a copy of the eulogy Rick Burgess (of Rick & Bubba) gave at his son’s funeral. In 2008, Rick’s 2 year old son managed to get out of the house and fell into the family’s pool. I learned that the eulogy is on YouTube in three parts (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3). It can also be found on the Rick and Bubba website. I watched it and it spurred this post.

I first started with Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

ALL things work together for good.
What good can possibly come out of the death of a baby?! Surprisingly, a lot. That night in the ER, nurses were astounded at the show of love and support we got from our church family. We were too, for that matter. We knew we had an awesome support network and church family. Now, we KNOW. In the days following Keith’s death, that love and support continued to flow in the form of gifts, food, fellowship, love, and prayer. Again, we were astounded. And so were our non-church friends who witnessed it. Two have started coming and two others have promised a visit (and I trust them to keep that promise).

Need more convincing? How many of you hugged your children tighter after hearing what happened to us? How many of you appreciated your loved ones just a little more after seeing or hearing our experience? I saw quite a few friends’ Facebook statuses mentioning just that.

Still more? This next bit feels prideful to say out loud, but Brian and I have been complimented on our strength and faith. It’s not our strength. There’s no way we could get through this on our own. Yes, I’ve been mad at God. Earlier, I said I couldn’t understand why He took my baby. A very dear friend, whose husband died in 2009, sent me a message that said, “I have to say, in love and deep sincerity and I hope not too harshly, Elizabeth, that God didn’t take your baby. Your baby died and that is probably the worse thing you will ever deal with. You get to rant and be angry and shake your fists, and that’s okay, but God didn’t take your baby. God didn’t stop him from dying and God didn’t answer the prayers as we wanted him to answer. But God didn’t take your baby.” At the time, I told her that I may be able to see it that way one day but, at that moment, I couldn’t. That’s why it really struck me when, in the eulogy for his son, Rick Burgess said, “God had a reason for allowing it – I don’t think that God took our son. I think He allowed him to be taken, at this time. The Bible says all of our days are numbered. He allowed him to be taken so He would be glorified and no other reason – not to punish us, not to bring us heartache or pain. He did it so that the Kingdom would be glorified.” There’s precedent for it in Job 1:12. Job’s response after learning that his family, his livestock, his servants were destroyed was “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.” (Job 1:21).

Honestly, that doesn’t sound much better, does it? What kind of loving God would ALLOW my baby to be taken? One answer is that Keith really didn’t belong to me (caution: For the record… I’ll punch anyone who tells me that God needed another angel). Keith was and is God’s child. When he spoke at his son’s funeral, Rick started by addressing those who had asked him if he really wanted to get up and speak that day. “This is an opportunity that was given to me to leave here today knowing that I was obedient to my Father in Heaven – to Bronner’s Father in Heaven, who is in the care with the only Father who loves him more than me. If you were to leave your children… [were told] “You’re going. Who would you like to take care of your child until you get back?” Wouldn’t you love it if they said, “I’ll find somebody who loves your child more than you do.” That’s our situation. Though we miss him and we’ll miss him for years and years to come – according to how long God keeps us here, we know that he is in the care of a Father who loves him more than than I do. To the Father he really belongs to…” Yep. God loves Keith far more than I or Brian could possibly begin to. Who better for him to be with?

As I said, faith in God is the only way we could get through this. Faith that God knows what He’s doing even when we don’t. Faith that He is true to His word through Jeremiah 29:11 – that He has plans to prosper us and not harm us – plans to give us a hope and a future.

One may argue that God has harmed us in allowing this tragedy. I disagree. There’s a poem I’ve heard, I don’t know the author, but I believe each part of it can be found in scripture: “God didn’t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.” We have seen prosperity. We have wealth beyond measure in our friends, our family, and in each other. And we do have a hope and a future! Yes, it hurts that Keith is gone (that’s an understatement!). We miss him immensely, but we will NOT let this tragedy tear us apart.

What is our hope and future?
Psalm 39:7 (And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.). This along with verses 4-5 are on Keith’s headstone. There’s a reason we chose those verses. I can only speak for myself here, but my hope is that someone will one day see it and know they can have hope. There is hope. I believe it will serve as a reminder to me at times as well. We chose to put a verse from Isaiah on the front (But those who die in the Lord will live; their bodies will rise again! Those who sleep in the earth will rise up and sing for joy! Isaiah 26:19). That sounds like hope to me too! And those around us are noticing where we place our hope and how we respond to adversity. Satan intended this tragedy to tear us apart – to destroy us – but we have proof through God’s word that it doesn’t have to (1 Corinthians 15:55 – O death, where is your victory?). We will see Keith again. In God’s time.

One last question – Who all has re-evaluated their lives and learned that things once held as important are, in reality, insignificant? We have. We’ve seen areas in our lives that need attention. They’re getting it now. Yes, it stinks that it took a tragedy to make that happen, but it would be impossible to remain unchanged after something like this. It would also be a huge injustice to Keith if we remained unchanged. That’s our future. I don’t know what it holds exactly, but I don’t have to. God knows His plans for me and He’ll share them with me in His time. Until then, I work, I wait, I watch and I listen.