I haven’t posted since the middle of March! Lots has been going on. We got the garden started – those pictures are posted on my facebook. I’ll be a good girl and post them here. Eventually. The “wall” is up – a bunch of nandina coming out from the corner of the house and wrapping to the sidewalk. Keith’s redbud is just inside the wall and we’re waiting on a weeping yaupon to go just inside the wall by the corner of the house. For the “floor”, we’ll be using a mix of bark like you see in playgrounds and some remnant granite (treated so it’s not slippery) that a friend has graciously offered us. I’m working with another friend to plan out furniture placement and flowers, herbs, and other plants to finish it out.
Taylor started softball and loves it! She surprised us both by actually paying attention during the game (as opposed to playing in the dirt). Her team won their first game 5-2. The opposing team’s first baseman started singing a little chant to distract our girls and, oddly enough, that’s when they started hitting better. My theory is that they had to focus more on the coach and the ball in order to block out her chant, but that may be putting too much on girls 9 and under.
I believe we’re done with regular sessions at Amelia Center. I say “regular sessions” because we may still need to occasionally check in, just possibly not regularly. Taylor looked forward to it because they have cool toys and crafts. We get some out of it, but not as much as at the beginning. What more I feel I need can be gotten through the moms group I’m in. We still have our moments. I’ve been known to text Brian with two simple words, “Grief sucks” – usually after some mundane sight or sound suddenly and unexpectedly reduces me to tears. Sometimes we feel like it’s been forever ago then we do the math and realize it’s only been 4 months.
Miss him like crazy, would trade everything to have him back, have days where part of me feels fine but part of me feels like screaming (truly weird feeling, for the record), but… we’re okay. Most days. And that’s good. We find ways to honor him and his memory and do the best we can with our new normal.
Love and hugs to all for continued prayers.