January’s #Reverb16 prompt: Changes | A lot of people use January as a jumping off point to implement changes in their lives. How do you implement change? Slowly? Cold turkey? Incrementally with a plan?
Quietly. That’s how I like to make changes.
I don’t like to announce, “THIS is what I am going to do!” Why not? Because of that little kid voice I mentioned earlier that says, “But what if it fails?” If I don’t announce it, the only one who knows I’ve failed is me. Except there are some things I can’t really keep quiet about and at least two have happened over the past year or so.
I’m in school, studying English this time (I have a Bachelor’s in Music Therapy). What will I do with it? I. Don’t. Know. And you know what? I believe that’s okay. At least for now. It’s a benefit my employer provides and I’m finally able to take advantage of it. As of this writing, I have two literature classes left and then I’ll wait (im)patiently for writing classes to fit with my work schedule. Don’t misunderstand – my employer works with me, but there are certain times that are just not negotiable. I’ve mentioned before that I work for a large teaching hospital, specifically, the Internal Medicine Residency Program. From early November to late January, we interview medical students for the upcoming Intern year. Our interviews are Tuesdays and Fridays and they’re “all hands on deck” days in which the earliest I’m done is 11:00. The problems:
I’m losing weight. This is a good thing. I’ve been pretty quiet about it, but weight loss eventually becomes noticeable whether you like it or not. Over the past year, I lost just over 60 pounds. I have at least that much more to go. At the moment, I feel like I’m struggling. I find myself giving in to temptation more often. I need to stop that. Once in a while is okay. Every day is not. Multiple times a week, at least at this stage in the game, is not. Multiple times a day is definitely not. I think I’m hitting multiple times a week right now and feel like I’m inching toward every day. I don’t know for sure and so I’m bringing back… the food journal. I hate the food journal. I’d say I don’t know why, but yes I do. It keeps me accountable. The selfish kid in me is kicking and screaming, “I don’t wanna!!!” The reluctant adult in me is responding, “I don’t wanna either, but I need it so I’m gonna do it.” (my mantra at times: I don’t wanna but I gotta so I’m gonna!)
There are a few other changes coming that I’m keeping quiet on because, after all, what if I fail?