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Taylor helped!

Taylor helped me with my 750 words tonight. These two stories are the result:

Once upon a time there was a sweet little angel girl. She had lovely blond hair, beautiful eyes. She loved to sing and dance. And talk. Man, could she talk. One day, the girl is walking through the woods and meets an evil witch disguised as a little girl. The evil witch was trying to kill the little girl – we don’t know why, it’s just what evil witches do! The evil witch disguised as a little girl lied to her and said, “My father says that if I don’t sell at least 1 apple, I will be in deep trouble. Will you have one of my apples?” The (actual) little girl said, “Sure! I love apples!” So the evil witch gave her a poisonous apple. The little girl took a bite of the apple, dropped it, and fell to the ground.

Then, someone came hunting and saw the little girl lying on the ground. He picked her up and brought her back to his home and that’s where she stayed for a couple of days. The day she woke up, she started going back home but when she was a couple of miles away from her house, she met the evil witch again. The evil witch tried to kill her again by trying to force her to prick her finger on a spinning wheel. She wouldn’t do it (smart girl that she was). Then she ran all the way home. The end.

My daughter and her husband, Jupiter, and their 63 children (the moons) – she loved Jupiter and loved the moons. Of course, Jupiter was in space and content to just hang out there. She was on Earth. She wanted to see Jupiter and her 63 moon children. One day when she got older, she got to go up into space and see her husband and their 63 children. It was a miracle made by God! The end.

December 30, 2010, 12:04 am | Comments Off

Keith’s memorial headstone

Just before Christmas, we finally settled on what we wanted for Keith’s headstone. It is being produced by Laser Works of Alabama (highly recommend — Richard is an incredible man who does incredible work)

This will be the front of his headstone, laser-etched on black granite:

And this will be on the back:

They should have it prepared this week, and it will be installed sometime around the end of January or beginning of February.

Designing this headstone wasn’t nearly as hard on us as I feared it would be. Like Elizabeth said earlier, there aren’t many things we can do for our baby boy now, so we take pleasure in doing what we can for him.

December 28, 2010, 12:48 pm | 1 Comment »

Rambling

None of the Reverb10 prompts are speaking to me at the moment, so I’m rambling.

I’m tired. I want to cry. I feel like there’s a hole in my chest. I want to curl up in a ball and not come out for a long long time. At the same time, somehow, I’m hopeful.

We got a draft of his headstone today and it’s going to be gorgeous. I hate that we have to do this. It breaks my heart that we have to do this. But I’m enjoying it. At this point, this is the only way I have to take care of my boy. I’ll take whatever joy I can get.

On the front is a picture that we fell in love with. We saw one like it on another baby’s headstone and mentioned it to the guy doing Keith’s. He came back with the one we’ll be using (if you don’t want to click – it’s a picture of Jesus in the clouds holding a baby!)

It’s going to be black granite – the center part of that image in an oval toward the top, then Keith’s name and his date of birth and death, then a scripture from Isaiah that Brian found on SIDS America. No, we don’t know if it was SIDS or something else yet. The coroner is waiting for a few more tests to come back and is hoping to have the report finished by the end of the week. That site, though, has been a wonderful find.

“But those who die in the Lord will live; their bodies will rise again! Those who sleep in the earth will rise up and sing for joy!” (Isaiah 26:19)

On the back will be our family name and some verses from Psalm 39. We had 1 Corinthians 15:51-52, 55 on the memorial card at his viewing. “Behold, I show you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed… O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?”

To me, that was an affirmation that we were not going to let this tragedy tear us apart or crush us completely. Death and the grave have no victory over us. Period. I needed that strength, that conviction, that knowledge, to get me through those initial days.

Then Brian found this one:
“It is the same way with the resurrection of the dead. Our earthly bodies are planted in the ground when we die, but they will be raised to live forever. Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength. They are buried as natural human bodies, but they will be raised as spiritual bodies. For just as there are natural bodies, there are also spiritual bodies.” (1 Cor. 15: 42-44) We liked it a lot for awhile but ultimately decided against it. We felt its context was more in the future / in the end times.

And he found this: “Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered—how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath….And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.” (Psalm 39:4-5, 7)

THAT’S what will be on the back under our family name. It’s going to be beautiful and I’m sure we’ll be posting pictures. The picture attached to this post is the temporary marker we got from a local lawn & garden place. Once the headstone is placed, this angel will be brought home and placed in a memorial garden I’ll be doing with (lots of) help from a friend.

December 21, 2010, 8:25 pm | 1 Comment »

Do or do not… there is no try

December 18th’s Reverb10 prompt was “Try” What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?

I immediately thought of the quote from Yoda in one of the Star Wars movies: “Do or do not… there is no try.” (sidetrack ramble – I actually heard this line in one of my pastor’s sermons, and NOT the movie!)

What did I want to try in 2010 and what happened?

I know we wanted to have another child.

Brian’s concern was finances. Being the keeper of the books, I crunched numbers and said, “Okay. I’m having difficulty with the numbers on paper, but I’m telling you – we’ll be fine” and I got pregnant late December 2009. I remember meeting with our financial adviser and him asking me if we had planned for this pregnancy. “Planned on getting pregnant? Yeah. Financially planned for it? Not so much.” After some help followed by buckling down, we made some progress in the Financial Peace Baby Step realm and then Keith was born. We buckled down some more and figured out that we could afford the additional daycare and the things he needed. We couldn’t afford much else, but I still felt we’d be okay. After his death, we realized that if we were able to buckle down and afford daycare and all the other extras that come with a baby, we have no excuses whatsoever for our debt or any financial issues. Any financial trouble is purely and squarely on us.

My weight was one of my concerns. Because of my weight, I had a pinched nerve in my leg that caused excruciating pain if I stood or walked for too long. Being pregnant and overweight made the doctor watch my blood pressure even closer (it was fine). I don’t know if my weight had anything to do with my gestational diabetes or not, but I’m sure it didn’t help. The diabetes education office gave me an eating plan that was surprisingly easy to follow – I even LOST weight! While pregnant! The plan is easy, the food is good and I love experimenting in the kitchen – again, no excuses whatsoever. Any continued trouble with my weight is purely and squarely on me.

Both of these things are a matter of self-control. Not giving in to temptation. I believe both could be considered a form of gluttony (I’ve said before that it’s my favorite sin). 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” I need to start looking for those ways out when I’m tempted. And not only look for them, but take them when I see them. I’ll admit it, I’ve seen my way out and completely ignored it. You know you’ve done it too. We’re all human here.

What do I want to try next year?

I want to try to get out of debt. I want to try to lose weight. I want to try to become an “at home” mom (which means trying to find at least some non Mon-Fri / 8-5 type work)

I read that and then think about that Yoda quote. Is it really that simple? Could it possibly be THAT simple? I don’t know, but I’m willing to try.

December 19, 2010, 11:37 pm | Comments Off

Obituary for Keith Alton McAlister

Keith’s obituary and guest book won’t stay online forever, and instead of paying them to keep it online, I decided to reproduce it here, along with the comments received.

I was especially touched by the comment from K. Raybon of South Carolina. No idea who this person is, but they accidentally found Keith’s obituary and decided to leave a note anyways. I will likely never get the chance to thank this person directly, but I would tell them their stumble and 60 seconds of effort to leave a message was very much appreciated.

November 21, 2010
Dear Janet and Tom,

Please know that you and your family are truly in my prayers. I’m sure so many others at St. Stephen’s feel the same way.

With love and deep sympathy,

Maureen
~
Maureen Drost,
Huntsville, Alabama

November 21, 2010
We were deeply saddened to hear of Keiths passing. You have been in our thoughts and prayers continually. I was honored to be his nurse and will remember his sweet smile. I will continue to pray for you in the days, weeks, months,and years to come. Vicki Greene,LPN North Jefferson Pediatrics
~
Vicki Greene,
Pinson, Alabama

November 21, 2010
Words of comfort simply cannot meet the magnitude of your loss, my heart goes out to you and your family. At this time of need may you rely on our Heavenly Father for that needed strength to endure. James 4:8 says Draw close to God and he will draw close to you. Know that he is always there for us in time of need.

DM

November 21, 2010
Dear Janet and Tom,

My thoughts, love, and prayers are with you and your family.

May God’s peace be with you,

Carolyn
~
Carolyn Gibson,
Huntsville, Alabama

November 22, 2010
Dear Bryan, Elizabeth and Taylor,
We are so sad for the loss of our precious little neighbor. I will miss him coming outside to play, but I know
he will play with all the babies in God’s care and be your special little
angel to watch over all of you. We love all of you and Ginger.
~
Cecelia Melton,
Gardendale, Alabama

November 22, 2010
Dear Brian and Elizabeth, Tom and Janet,

My prayers are with you for your devastating loss. May God in His time heal your wounds and at That Day make us understand the meaning of it all.
~
Bob Palik,
Huntsville, Alabama

November 22, 2010
Dear, Elizabeth and Family,
I am very sorry for your loss. I pray for your family strength during this time of loss. I am truly sorry, I love you and so do our Heavely Father. If you need anything please don’t hesitate to let me know.

Sonja Layton
~
Sonja Layton,
Centerpoint, Alabama

November 22, 2010
Dear Elizabeth and family, I am so sorry for your loss. I pray the Lord walks with you and strengthen you during this difficult time. If you need anything please don’t hesitate to ask. I love you and so does the Heavenly Father.
~
Sonja Layton,
Centerpoint, Alabama

November 23, 2010
May the love of friends and family carry you through your grief.
~
Cassie England,
New Hope, Alabama

November 27, 2010
I am so sorry. I was doing a search for someone else and I ended up here. I couldn’t leave without saying that I am so sorry for your loss, and I pray that somehow you are comforted. I am just a stranger that you will probably never meet, but today my prayers are with your family.
~
K Raybon,
South Carolina

December 14, 2010
Brian, Elizabeth, and Taylor – may God bless your family and comfort you each day. We had no idea about your loss until yesterday at dance. Taylor told Kaylyn, Lexie and I during their Christmas party. We are so sorry. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers. I pray God will send you joy in place of your mourning. Paula Booker (Kaylyn, Lexie, and Reagan’s Honey)

December 16, 2010, 2:41 pm | Comments Off