6 months ago today, I was at UAB’s Women & Infant’s Center and, having just had a c-section at about 3pm, I was still pretty happily drugged as of this moment (8:30pm). I honestly don’t remember much of the first night. I remember bits and pieces of the day after and how hellish it was. Those mean nurses made me get up and, well, I can’t repeat what all I said in response to how badly that hurt.
The next few days were a mix of happiness and frustration. Frustration mostly as I reacquainted myself with the care of a newborn and happiness… as I reacquainted myself with the care of a newborn. Life’s odd that way.
I miss him. I’ve at least finished the melody to what would likely have been his lullaby. There’s a fragment of another song I would sing to him too. I always found it odd that it was in a minor key. Now, it seems fitting. I think the main reason I didn’t flesh that one out is because I didn’t like the idea of singing a “minor” song to my baby. I’m still not sure I’ll do anything with it. We’ll see.
Taylor & I went to her god-sister’s 1st birthday party on Saturday. It was wonderful – she was adorable in her Birthday Girl outfit (complete with crown)! We went over to their house afterward and I got to hold Kevin while he drank a bottle. He’s 9 months old now – holding the bottle on his own! I played with him a little and when he started yawning, I held him close… hoping. Yep, he fell asleep in my arms and I promptly fell asleep on their couch. After telling a friend about this, he asked if I found that to be pure joy or mixed. Honestly? Most of the time, it has been pure joy. I love babies. Period. I’ll admit, though, there have been a few times that it’s been bittersweet. I see the things that Keith would likely be doing and that stings a bit. To my friends reading this who have babies – this does NOT mean you should shield me from them! Don’t miss that one little line – “I love babies. Period.” Babies, in an of themselves, are pure joy. Most of the time.
Thank you, again, to all of you for your love, support, and prayers. They’re all still very much needed. We love y’all and are so glad to have you in our life.