Cyber Santa

You never know how Santa will be watching you next.

I was on an instant messenger with a friend this morning when her two children (7 year old boy, 11 year old girl) came up trying to get at the screen to see what she was doing. She was looking up store flyers for Black Friday sales, and really didn’t want them to see what she was doing.

So I increased the font size I was using, and started typing in bold capital letters, to make sure the kids could see.

“I’M SANTA CLAUS. I’M JUST CHECKING WITH YOUR MOTHER TO SEE IF YOU’VE BEEN GOOD”

Her son is dumbfounded. He says he’s been good. Prompted from earlier conversations, I followed with

YOU HAVE BEEN GOOD. YOUR SCHOOL SENT ME YOUR REPORT CARD, AND I SEE YOU GOT AN F IN MATH. I THINK I’LL GET YOU A MATH BOOK FOR CHRISTMAS.

He didn’t like that.

The 11 year old chimed in next, asking about herself.

YOU’RE DOING QUITE WELL IN SCHOOL, AND THIS SAYS YOU’RE A PRETTY GOOD KID. I THINK I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU HERE THAT PLUGS IN. YOU’LL LIKE IT.

She’s getting a portable video game system and a DVD player.

(Note: Unlike Kenny, who enjoys ruining Christmas surprises, I’m pretty sure we don’t have too many 11-year-old girls in our audience. I feel safe in posting what I did.) (EDIT: Link fixed.)

The boy isn’t happy at all. So I offer him an olive branch.

TELL YOU WHAT. IF YOU’LL STUDY HARDER IN MATH I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO. DEAL?

He grins big and yells out Deal!

Ha, ha, ha, Merry Christmas.

Comments

  1. I managed to circumnavigate his botched code to find the correct URL and fix the link above. It’s not my fault Kenny’s archive links don’t work. It is my fault for trusting Kenny that his code works, and not checking it out for myself first.

    Nice job, Kenny. Way to make me look bad in your girlfriend’s eyes.